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Guys Who Like Fat Chicks

By Camille Dodero Wednesday, May 4 2011From the Village Voicehttp://www.villagevoice.com/2011-05-04/news/guys-who-like-fat-chicks/

The article is an interesting read. I have mixed feelings about a lot of it, but I think it’s worth reading. I’m not super familiar with Fat Admirers, or the ins and outs of that “lifestyle”. But I am a fat woman, and I am very attracted to fat men specifically. 

I have, of course, slept with slender men…but I don’t find them attractive. It is through my experience that I would more closely identify as a female who admirers fat men. I can honestly say even if I wasn’t fat, I’d still be attracted to fat men. 

Kinda random thoughts, but I felt like sharing. ;)

I found the article pretty enlightening.

The whole “coming out of the closet” thing was, and remains, an issue for me.  I’ve found it really difficult to express to people - especially people who are close to me - that I’m done dieting and that I don’t want to hate on my body anymore.  Because the only thing worse than a fatty is a fatty who isn’t trying to not be fat.

Of course, I would imagine it’s just as also difficult for men (and women) who are attracted to fat women, because there is a huge amount of pressure to have a girlfriend who conforms to a societal standard of beauty.

A lot of this fat admirer stuff borders on the fetishistic, and I don’t really want to touch on that issue because I don’t feel terribly qualified to talk about it (I don’t post many photos of myself online, and I’m guessing that has a lot to do with the fact that I have never felt victimized by those who fetishize fat women, but I know that Amber specifically has talked about it, and her thoughts are both eloquently expressed and important - Amber is important in general, yo).  Out in my day to day life, my experience is that I get hit on on a fairly regular basis (by men), and it’s obviously because there are guys - a good number of them - who dig on my body type.  Which, in those contexts, is perfectly fine as far as I’m concerned.  Plenty of “conventionally attractive” women get hit on just because they’re are “conventionally attractive” - why shouldn’t I get hit on because of the way I look?

I’ve had sex with people who dig fat chicks, and I’ll tell you right now - it’s way more fun than sex with people who don’t.  Yup, I’ve got back fat and big boobs and rolls and all that, and in my experience, it’s way more fun to be with someone who thinks EVERYTHING about me is sexy, rather than someone who is attempting to politely ignore the fact that I am a giant fatass.

And that’s how I feel.  Everybody’s different naturally, but one day, when (or if) I’m ready to resume a sex life, I’m going to be fucking people who are totally turned on by me.  And it will be awesome.

Squee, I got a mention! I’m a little late to the party, but I wanted to add my two cents.

Okay, so more about this article. Some of the wording in it bothered me. Such as the following:

• Page 1:  Dan explains that, yes, he likes round bellies. He likes double chins. He likes breasts the size of his head. He loves flabby biceps. “Fat upper arms are awesome. I would almost say I’m an arms guy,” he says, not by any means whispering. “I didn’t know that they would be that soft. I, like, fell asleep on a girl’s arm once. I was like, ‘Wow.’ ”
• Page 4: Lawrence, who sometimes fantasizes about a 550-pound wife, thinks the smallest he could go would be 180 pounds, though that veers into bisizualism. “Ideally, no. But you’d want to meet the girl’s mother. If she’s in her early 20s, and she’s 180 pounds, check out where it’s going. You might be pleasantly surprised. You walk in, and see her [mom] and she’s like, really big, and you’re like, ‘YES!’ You’re stoked. The genes don’t lie.” 
• Page 5: “It’s like one big boob.” That’s Dan’s shorthand explanation for what it’s like to be with fat women, what their bodies feel like naked, and the physical attributes he’s found himself attracted to his entire life.

Yeah, all of  the above sounds more than just a tad fetishy to me. Especially the scoping out the chick’s mom bit. Seriously? If you don’t think she’ll be fat enough in her old age, what? You’ll dump her? 

I get that we all have preferences, and hell, if men didn’t like fat chicks, I’d still be a virgin. But regardless, I’m pretty sure my boyfriend would have still fallen in love with me if I was half the size I am now. He loves my body, but he’s not about to go on about how much he wants to fall asleep on my ‘flabby biceps’. No thank you.

This article did have a lot of good points. Like how it would have been more acceptable and less squicky for some of the men to come out as gay than to ‘come out’ as liking fat girls. It’s certainly an enlightening read for anyone who’s not a part of the Fat Acceptance movement. But I think someone else who was talking about this article put it best. (I think it was laurendarling but I can’t remember?) “Though it would be nice to find someone where my body is almost irrelevant, rather than either a fetish or a deal-breaker”

I don’t know. I have very, very mixed emotions on this article. But at least it’s a start.

Here’s my problem with this. While yes, I think it’s awesome that there are people out there who admire the form of a fat person, it bothers me on (almost) the same level as someone who only dates/finds attractive slim people. I want to spend my time with/fuck/fall in love with/hold the hand of someone who would find me just as attractive in a size 4 as they would in a 14 or 24. Part of the reason why I preach on fat acceptance and positivity so much is because I want the equal rights and treatment that people of “commercial beauty” receive, and that includes how I’m loved.

My body is beautiful. I feel sexy as hell. I want to be admired, but for me, not for my fat. 

I’d also like to add that I don’t think I’ve ever seen this in the queer community, and I’m not sure why.